De-extreming the Extremist Mind

Mark Goulston
4 min readAug 22, 2022

With very rare exceptions extremists are not born just as few people are born evil.

The very rare exception would be those genetically predisposed psychopaths from families with a high frequency of psychopathy. Fifty years ago a fair amount of attention was directed towards men born with the XYY chromosome abnormality referred to a Jacobs syndrome and thought to be correlated to poor impulse control and sociopathy. Less attention appears to be paid to that now especially given the politically incorrect associations it would create.

Yes, nearly all human beings are born innocent and human beings are born helpless and powerless after living in the “our wish is our mother’s command” environment of her womb for nine months.

As infants and very young children, the more the world around us (mostly mothers and then fathers and then nannies — in both parent working households — and later on siblings, teachers, school mates) attunes to and then assists us in our helplessness and powerlessness, filling in the gap so that we don’t starve or freeze to death, and then the more we slowly and gradually begin to fill that gap with our own budding self-sufficiency, the more we can survive and then thrive in the world.

However, if instead of the emotional attunement and assistance necessary for healthy psychological development…

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Mark Goulston

Dr. Goulston is the world's #1 listening coach and author of "Just Listen" which became the top book on listening in the world