America: Land of the Aggrieved

If there is anything the extreme left and extreme right and for that matter just the left and the right and even more widespread, the contemporary American marriage need is a huge dose of forgiveness. However, you can’t feel aggrieved and be forgiving at the same time.

Forgiving requires more than the hurtful party simply saying they’re sorry. It requires also saying they were wrong and willingly paying the consequences.

Consider the following dialogue between a husband and wife:

Husband: I’m sorry I cheated on you.

Wife: I accept your apology and I’m sorry that I can never allow you to touch me again.

Husband: What?

Wife: I said I accept your apology and I’m sorry that I can never allow you to touch me again.

Husband: But if that happens, then I will be forced to cheat again.

Wife: Well, if that happens, I will be forced to file for a divorce.

Husband: But that’s not fair.

Wife: It may not be fair, but that is what I’m going to do after you told me you cheated on me and if you cheat again.

Husband: But that’s wrong.

Wife: It may be wrong, but I’m not wrong (a la Bill Clinton’s apology for his affair) so I don’t…